Resentment

You told me you loved me and that you cared.
You promised sweet kisses and to always be here.
You were once so good and kind, gentle and so very sweet.
When just thinking of you my knees grew weak.
When you’re hands were in mine, chills ran up my spine.
Now my world is upside down
All the silence is now sound.
Fantasies are nightmares, dreams are like hell
You don’t hold my hand and I wonder who is it I am sharing my man with.
Your lies are effecting me, stressing me, making a mess of me.
I can’t even vibe with you, especially
knowing you had her in your arms.
The same ones that used to protect my worries and stop my fears.
The hands that wiped away my tears.
The lips that once gave sweet kisses and spoke soothing reassuring words
The once welcoming sincere smell of you shirt now makes me sick to my stomach.
Sick to the pit.
I know I must face the truth.
I hate this s**t. I want to hate you but all that will do is cause pain to me.
Only God knows how this is effecting you.
And silly me still in love.
Me. You. We. Her. You. Me. Pain. Sorrow. Resentment. You

When Did Letting Go Become So Hard?

I remember your laugh
I remember your smile
I remember your touch
Though it’s been awhile

I miss your gaze
I miss your sweet kiss
I miss being with you
It was unforgettable bliss

I know you don’t miss me
I know you’ve moved on
I know I should forget you
But I’m just not that strong

I still recall the words
I still recall what was said
I still recall the promises
The things you never meant

I’m sorry I’m not OK
I’m sorry I’m not stronger
I’m sorry I’m still in love with you
And I can’t do this much longer

I don’t know how to live without you
I don’t know how to survive
I don’t know what it is about you
That makes me weak inside

I’m usually the one who deals
I’m usually the one that’s fine
I’m usually OK with break ups
But I miss you being mine

At first it was infatuation
At first it was just a faze
At first it was something I would end
But now I barely make it through the day

I never attached this easily
I never lose this fight
I never let my heart get broken
But now I cry myself to sleep at night

I don’t remember it being this difficult
I don’t remember not being able to laugh
I don’t remember being so distraught about it
When did letting go become so hard?